I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
