Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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