he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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