you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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