i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
