we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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