This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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