Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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