Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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