2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
