i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
