somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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