TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
