it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
