he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
