We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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