Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
