So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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