No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
