can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
