How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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