my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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