Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
