Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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