I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
