Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
