i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
