It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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