My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just pee around me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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