You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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