I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
