shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i will never coherently bang her
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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