so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
