Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
