Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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