I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
