I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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