No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
