I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
