man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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