He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
