I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Me too!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
vagina is talking i cant
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
