So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
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i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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