You're earring is so big in my mouth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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