I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
