Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
