1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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