I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
no. you can't hotbox the world.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
