yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
