If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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