Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
