Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
