Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You're like the curious george of whores
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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