Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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