So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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