Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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