I just cut my nipple shaving
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
