Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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