Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
