Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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