i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
