Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
even my farts smell like vagina
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
